Three times in the last week I have entered a public restroom stall only to find the woman before me did not want her precious ass to touch the toilet seat. She did not, however, have any problem leaving pee all over the seat for my precious ass. Seriously woman, how big does that hole have to be? How big a target do you need? Are you standing on the seat? Are you even anywhere near the seat? There was so much pee, I honestly had to think it wasn't a mere accident, a case of weak thigh muscles, but an open act of hostility toward fellow women-kind. Or an animalistic need to "mark her territory".
In one instance, I only wish it had been pee. I'll spare you the details but it was startling. I saw the woman exit the stall, which I then entered. I stood there blinking in disbelief for about 2 seconds, then exited. She turned from washing her hands (thank God she was washing her hands) and her eyes locked on mine for a split second. She knew. She knew I knew that she'd left that mess behind. I wanted to say something. "You left poo on the seat?! Who does that?! Where are you from, who raised you to think that was in any way acceptable?!" This wasn't some hobo either, this was a very nicely dressed, middle-aged woman, in an upscale department store. Instead quickly broke eye contact and scurried out and I went into the next stall.
Look, I get it. I hate public restrooms too, but studies have shown there are probably more germs on that keyboard you're sitting in front of than the average public toilet seat (the exception being my fecal-leaving friend above. Unless you have poo on your keyboard, in which case ewwww!) So ladies, the next time you're shopping and nature calls, do me a favor and take a few moments have a seat, relax those shaky thigh muscles, you deserve it. Or for the love of God, at least clean up after yourself.
No comments:
Post a Comment